WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I SEE MEANNESS?

The following is designed to help students deal with meanness. The STAMP program

is based on the idea that we, as a school, want to stand together against meanness.

We want to look out for each other, we want to help each other and we want to

protect each other, however, we don’t want to escalate situations or fight meanness

with more meanness.

IF YOU SEE SOMEONE GETTING PHYSICAL:

You should immediately find a teacher or other adult.

IF SOMEONE IS TALKING TO YOU ABOUT ANOTHER PERSON IN A MEAN WAY:

Stop listening. It is really difficult for someone to talk about another person, gossip, spread

rumors or call names if no one will listen to them. If one of your friends is talking this way,

change the subject or tell them that you don’t want to talk about others. If this doesn’t work,

find an excuse to leave and catch up with them later.

What you shouldn’t do is run and tell someone, “Hey, this person was just saying mean things

about you.” That only spreads the meanness and hurts more feelings. We often hear that

people need to know if someone is talking about them – why? It serves no purpose other than

to hurt that individual. If you want to stop that kind of talk, stop listening and taking part.

When you listen, you are part of the meanness. This also applies to mean text or instant

messages received about others.

IF YOU SEE SOMEONE BEING EXCLUDED:

Stand together with that person. If someone is being excluded by others, include them in your

group. If someone is eating alone, invite him/her to your lunch table. If someone is alone at

recess, invite him/her to join your game. If someone is without a group for a class project, invite them into your group.

No one wants to be alone and it is really tough to invite yourself into a

group. By including those who have been excluded, you are taking a stand against meanness.

If one of your friends wants to intentionally exclude someone, don’t go along with it. Chances

are, if he/she has a problem with another friend, you, and others, don’t.

Be careful about “going along” with the crowd because you could be the next one excluded.

If you see someone being excluded, encourage him/her to talk to the school counselor.

If they continue to be excluded, share this with the counselor yourself.

There may be things going on with this person that she can help with.

IF YOU SEE SOMEONE BEING CALLED NAMES OR TEASED:

Stand together with that person. It is very easy for someone or a group to pick on a single

person. It is much tougher to do to several people and impossible to do to a large group.

The whole idea behind STAMP is for people to stand together against meanness. That means

if you see someone being called names or teased, simply stand next to or behind them. Don’t

say anything. Don’t be confrontational. Don’t answer any taunts. Just stand. If you see

someone doing this, join them. Grab a friend and both of you stand with someone being

called names or teased. Before you know it, the person being mean will get the message that

there are more of us (those who won’t tolerate meanness) than there are of them (those who

choose to be mean) and will stop or walk away. If the person continues to be mean when you

stand with someone, just encourage the person who is being targeted to walk away with you.

You don’t need to be friends with the person who is being targeted, you don’t even need to

know them at all. If you are not sure of whether or not the person is the target of meanness,

simply ask them if everything is all right – you’ll know soon enough.

When it is all done, encourage the person to talk to the school counselor so that he/she can deal directly with the meanness.

IF YOU SEE SOMEONE BEING THE TARGET OF ANY OTHER KIND OF MEANNESS:

First and foremost, if you think that someone is in jeopardy of being physically harmed, get a

teacher or other adult immediately. Other than that, most meanness can be dealt with effectively when you stand together.

Simply stand next to or behind them. Don’t say anything. Don’t be confrontational. Don’t

answer any taunts. Just stand. If you see someone doing this, join him/her. Grab a friend and

both of you stand with someone being treated meanly. Before you know it, the person

being mean will get the message that there are more of us (those who won’t tolerate meanness)

than there are of them (those who choose to be mean) and will stop or walk away.

If the person continues to be mean when you stand with someone, just encourage the person who is being

targeted to walk away with you.

You don’t need to be friends with the person who is being targeted, you don’t even need to

know them at all. If you are not sure of whether or not the person is the target of meanness,

simply ask them if everything is all right – you’ll know soon enough.

When it is all done, encourage the person to talk to the school counselor so that he/she can deal directly with the meanness.

Meanness is a behavior. Meanness is something you choose to do.

Meanness is something we can stop if we all STAND TOGETHER.